Established in 1807 BC  ·  Limited quantities  ·  Unlimited dignity

This Chicken.
Egrets
NOTHING.

Egret. Nothing. We are not sure why we did this but we did it and now here we are. The chicken has no egrets. It is not an egret, it is a duck. Or a chicken.

Shop the Chicken Learn More
Free Shipping Over $75 ✦ 100% Cotton ✦ The Chicken Is Non-Negotiable ✦ Available in S – 3XL ✦ Ethically Printed ✦ No Chickens Were Consulted ✦ Free Shipping Over $75 ✦ 100% Cotton ✦ The Chicken Is Non-Negotiable ✦ Available in S – 3XL ✦ Ethically Printed ✦ No Chickens Were Consulted ✦

The Collection

The Chicken.
On Everything.

Bestseller
The Classic Tee
Heavyweight cotton. The chicken, centered. A bold statement about nothing in particular.
$32
The Tank Top
For when you want the chicken but also want everyone to see your arms. Fair.
$28
New
The Hoodie
Heavy fleece. Chest pocket. The chicken remains, undaunted by the cold.
$65
The Long Sleeve
All the chicken, more sleeve. Ideal for cooler climates and lingering eye contact.
$42

Our Philosophy

"We looked at the chicken. We thought: yes."

egretNothing began, as most great enterprises do, with a drawing of a bird and a complete absence of hesitation. The chicken appeared one evening, fully formed, demanding to be put on a shirt. We obliged.

Since then we have expanded to hoodies, tank tops, and long sleeves. We have not changed the chicken. We will not be changing the chicken. The chicken is the product. Everything else is just fabric in the vicinity of a chicken.

We ship within 3–5 business days. We hope you enjoy the chicken.

Why This Chicken

Frequently Cited
Advantages

01
Premium Materials
Heavyweight 100% ring-spun cotton. Washes well. The chicken does not fade. The chicken endures.
02
One Design
We have one design. This is the design. We are very committed to it. There will not be others unless we feel like it.
03
Multiple Colors
Black. More black. Some other colors that look good with the gold chicken. Classic choices for serious people.
04
All Sizes
XS through 3XL. The chicken fits everyone. The chicken has no strong feelings about body type. The chicken accepts you.
05
Ethical Printing
Screen-printed in the USA. Water-based inks. No actual egrets were involved. No egrets.
06
Free Returns
If you are unhappy with your chicken shirt, we will take it back. We will not ask why. We know why.

Testimonials

Things People
Have Said

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"I was unsure about the chicken at first. After two weeks of wearing this shirt, I can say: the chicken was correct."

— M. Holloway, Ohio
★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"Seven people have asked me about my shirt this month. I told all seven of them about the chicken. Two of them bought a shirt. The cycle continues."

— T. Blaine, Portland
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

"I gave this four stars because I wanted to see what you would say. Good quality. Great chicken. Shipping was fast. I'll probably give it five stars after I think about it."

— J. Park, Toronto

Stay Informed.
Egret Nothing.

New colorways. Restocks. Occasional musings. No more than twice a month. We promise.

No spam. Unsubscribe any time. The egret will not hold it against you.